Okay, so behind me in line at Publix over lunch was a Very Concerned Barista on her lunch break. I’d seen her twice already in the ~5 minutes I was in the store: first while I was walking to the sushi counter (fuck yeah, $5 sushi on Wednesdays) and again at the sushi counter itself (Very Concerned Barista likewise was enjoying Wednesday Sushi). Both times, she was having a Very Intense Conversation over her ear piece, but even at the sushi counter I couldn’t tell exactly what she was talking about.
That changed in the checkout line. And the first thing I actually made out of her Very Intense Conversation?
“I don’t care what’s in space. Space needs to stay in space.”
And, well, this made me curious. Luckily, I didn’t have to snoop or eavesdrop for the rest, because she was So Concerned about space staying in space that a decent amount of the line could hear her, and I was right there at her side. (Please note that she wasn’t hysterical or anything with this next part, just Very Emphatic.)
“No, I told you space needs to stay in space. I don’t care what’s up there, it doesn’t need to know that I’m down here. Cause the next thing you know, they’re gonna be coming down here and the wrong person’s going to say something stupid and the next thing you know they’re going to blow all of us up. [pause] No, he’s going to say something stupid. [pause] Anyway, they’re going to blow us all up and I’ll never be able to get to them first to tell them no, I’m not like that; most of us aren’t like that; we’re good except for them, please don’t blow us up but it’s going to be too late and we’ll all die.”
…Now, I can only guess at who she was concerned would say something stupid… But I’m pretty sure I know who it was about.
Either way I’m trying not to laugh as she’s going on about all of it, because I don’t want her to think I’m laughing at her when I actually agree with a large portion of the conversation. I wanted to tell her how much I agreed, that if space didn’t stay in space then some people would say some dumb shit and get us all blown up. I couldn’t though, ‘cause I was done checking out then and the cashier was starting to get her ($5 sushi and a bag of peanut M&M’s, I swear I should have been this girl’s best friend). Plus, we were both on our lunch breaks and I was running out of time to get back in time.
Space needs to stay in space.