An update since I made the original post on IG: I had neither an awesome morning nor a massive panic attack. I’d forgotten the third option of “crippling migraine” and that’s the one I ended up with.
The soda was delicious, though. It’s like when I was working my first job at the theater (when Episode I came out) and we had the stuff on tap. OMG I had energy for years, even well beyond what a 16-year-old Star Wars nerd should have as the first prequel was first released.